The Wayne Dairies: Key West scooter adventure

January 4, 2023

The Wayne Dairies: Key West scooter adventure

By Wayne Dewyer

Self-proclaimed “professional beach bum” Wayne Dewyer of Ludington is currently trekking his way to the Florida Keys. He started with a 17-foot motorboat, which he drove from Ludington to Panama City, Florida. After a short stint on a pontoon boat, he upgraded to a 29-foot boat that is currently anchored in the Crystal River in the northwestern part of the Florida peninsula. From time to time, Wayne has been updating the readers of MCP about his journey. You can also follow him by subscribing to his YouTube channel, The Wayne Diaries here. 

Hello everyone who follows the crazy adventures of me, the professional beach bum. In the last article we had problems with the sinking pontoon boat. After selling the pontoon boat and making it all the way to Crystal River I picked up a scooter to get around with. The idea was to take a road trip to one of my favorite places, Key West, and to spend New Year’s there. So with the scooter all packed and fueled (and 60 miles to the gallon), I was off to travel 450 miles to the most southern tip of the United States, Key West, Florida, Oh ya, and coffee first though! 

The trip was amazing, yet very challenging, as south Florida is so busy and scooters are not very forgiving at 35 mph. Seven Mile Bridge was going to be a real challenge as I found out the hard way. I got pulled over by the sheriff and was told I could not travel across the Seven Mile Bridge on a scooter. So I asked the sheriff, as he looked at me puzzled. 

“Well, go ahead,” he said, “but on your way back you will have to have someone tote the scooter across for you.” I said ok and I continued. The trip was going OK and the rain stopped as I hit the Keys and it became sunny and warm as all of the northern United States was cold. 

The plan was to camp in a place I know about right on the beach and that worked out pretty well from the picture I provided. I spent my days just hanging out delivering some food with my scooter on the Doordash app and hitting happy hours at various local bars such as Captain Tony’s and Willy T’s, talking to tourists and locals about good old Key West. The vibe here in the Keys is always fitting for a good old beach bum like myself: laid back and easy living. I stayed through New Year’s watching the fireworks off Mallory Square.

After New Year’s it was time to make my way back to the Crystal River area and start fixing the 29-foot boat, and start making some money to get through the rest of the winter in Florida. There were more adventures to plan and more places to see. I made my way back to the Crystal River area pretty much trouble free and without incident. While I was traveling back I thought of all Ideas for my next upcoming adventure such as a motorcycle trip to Alaska or South America. 

God Bless.


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