Time warp!

January 5, 2014


A blog by Judy Cools

I am appalled.  No other word will do.

Some number of months ago, I got a little paperback book at a yard sale or book sale somewhere.  The title (which I refuse to quote exactly, for fear someone might actually go out and look for it) has something to do with better marriages and showing you care.  There are a bunch of one and two line suggestions about how to enrich your marriage.

Sounds pretty good, doesn’t it?  For those of us who have been married forever and three weeks, a few fresh ideas don’t hurt.  Trust me – this is NOT that book.

Quoting here:  “Sometimes let him decide which movie or concert to go to.  Go anyway, whether you like it or not.”  OK…  I can bend that far.  We’ve each done that for one another, both to allow each other to enjoy a favorite, and to expand our own experiences.

How about these:  “Occasionally cover him back up when you get out of bed in the morning.  Tell him he has ten more minutes to sleep and that you will wake him then.  This may mean you will have to get up earlier.”

“Picture in your mind all the other women who would love to have him, and remind yourself that he chose you.  It will make you realize how lucky you are.”

It took me several minutes to find the copyright date on this nauseating drivel, and when I did, I felt even worse: 1981.  By 1981, we should have been well past the enslavement of women.  Evidently this author (yes, a woman) didn’t think so.

“Remind yourself that men usually need sex more often than women.”

“Be awake and beautiful when he comes home from a night meeting.”

“Talk with your girlfriends or have them over only when he is not home.”

Now, don’t get me wrong.  I’m all about loving and doing extra for your spouse….  but it’s a two-way street, folks.  Nauseating drivel is one thing.  Sexist nauseating drivel is something else again.  This stuff was pretty outrageous back in the 1980’s, and it’s really over the top now.  I’m sorry to have allowed this backward, narrow-minded little book any space on my shelf these last months.  What a waste of paper!

This book is so bad, we can’t even keep it and pretend it applies to both husband and wife.  It’s far too awful even to be funny.  I don’t believe in burning books, in fact I’m generally quite against it.  Tonight, I could make an exception.

Copyright 2013 © J.L. Cools

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